Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com
|
||
|
||
|
Negotiation Information | Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com |
|
|
|
Games are a Reflection of Behavior
You are standing on a small stage yelling, "What's the name of the game?!" "Win as much as you can!!!" comes roaring back. "Who's responsible for your score?!" "I am!!" The audience is composed of ninety men, all prisoners in a federal maximum security prison. One more thing - you're a woman. For three years, Alicia volunteered every Thursday at FCI (Federal Correctional Institute) in Bastrop, Texas- "I used my skills as a corporate trainer to help these men learn to shift their perspective on themselves and the world." "Along the way the prisoners taught me as much, perhaps more, than I taught them." "In my training business, I use games as a way to break down barriers and shift perceptions. What I came to realize is that your behavior in a game is an exaggerated reflection of your behavior in real life." Games are an opening to behave true to our natures, to react immediately rather than with a careful response. Depending on the other players, we may monitor our behavior less in a game than in the real world, but we aren't acting differently. In a game there are no emotional holds barred. In a game, we are allowed to be more right brained than logical. After all, "It's only a game." Saying something is only a game tends to trivialize its importance. Precisely because we view it as trivial, and of no importance, we can give ourselves permission to let our true natures out. When we floated this idea before a number of colleagues, several of them told us stories of self-discovery. One woman, a very sweet and kind person in "real life", was known as "the enforcer" when she played hockey in school. Another shared that, when she plays a game against total strangers she becomes "brutal" and highly competitive. So if our true nature comes out in a game, what can we do with that information? Can we transform situations so that we can be true to our nature? Can we make a game out of real world situations to allow our true nature to flourish? The obvious example is to view business as a game to be won. This implies competition and a winner take all attitude. Yet Covey and others have told us about creating win-win situations. Is there such a thing as a win-win game - a game where everyone wins, where no one loses? Can you devise a game where you can put your competitive streak toward a larger goal? Can the proverbial pie be made larger? As someone said to me, to transform from "me winning" to "we winning". What's the name of the game? Win as much as you can! Who's responsible for your score? I am! The game Alicia played with the inmates was called "the handshake game". She had them pair up by size, height and weight and explained the rules. "We'll play the game for 45 seconds. You get one point when your hand taps his hip; he gets one point when his hand taps your hip." The vast majority of the pairs had a combined score of 0 points. A few pairs scored in the 10 - 20 point range. But one pair scored 260 points. The high scorers had realized that the name of the game and scoring responsibility did not define a win-lose (or "zero-sum") game. That is, one person did not win at the expense of the other. Of course, the entire thing was a set-up. Alicia paired them up by size, height and weight to set the expectation that it was an evenly matched contest. She got them chanting to get their excitement up. And she neglected to tell them that the pair was a team and the team members' scores would be combined. "Deliberately I didn't tell them they were supposed to cooperate with their partner. I also never told them who the competitors were." We all know that a "formal" team must cooperate to win. The revelation here was that by cooperating they could maximize their individual scores. What's the name of the game? Win as much as you can! Who's responsible for your score? I am! The rules say nothing about preventing the other person from getting a high score. The pair who "got it" quickly settled into a rhythm of "one for you and one for me". And they could have kept that up for as long as the game ran. Meanwhile, the other teams were struggling and would have exhausted themselves long before the winners did. And, when the few teams who did spot the pair who "got it" there were charges of "cheating" leveled at them. "We saw what they were doing but thought they were cheating or didn't understand the rules." The cooperation - competition confusion is nicely summed up in the concept called "the prisoners' dilemma". Two people are arrested for a crime and there is enough evidence to put them both in jail for 1 year. The police keep them isolated from each other and offer each the same deal: "If one of you talks and the other does not, the snitch goes free and the other one gets 3 years. If you both talk, you both get 2 years." The partners can work together (by staying silent) and both get only a year in jail. By both defecting from the partnership to work with the police they will both get 2 years. A single defector will go free while the one who cooperated gets 3 years. The dilemma is formed by pitting trust against greed. The temptation of greed combined with a habit of competition blinds us to a different perspective. But don't think that only prisoners are subject to this. When Alicia has had groups of corporate executives play this game, they fall into the same behavior pattern as the prisoners. In fact, in some corporate sessions nobody "gets it". There seems to be a dichotomy between competing and winning. The idea of cooperating to win seems odd. In fact, we see other players complain that the ones who "get it" are cheating! What you do depends on your view of the game. If the game is seen as a one-time event, why not be brutal - there will be no consequences. But if this event is one in a series, then cooperation is clearly the better long-term strategy, if only because there will be a chance for the other to get even. In studies of prisoners' dilemma style games (played for points and not reduced jail time) the players eventually settle into a strategy dubbed "tit for tat". Their actions are saying, "If you cooperate last time, I'll cooperate next time. If you defected last time, I'll defect next time." Using the word "defect" helps us see the shift - the opposite of cooperating (working on the same side) is defecting to the other side. The desire to compete and the desire to win are not the same. Game terminology (strategies, tactics, moves, etc.) is often applied to "serious" parts of life. Because the word game has a connotation of triviality, we sometimes bristle at its use to describe the things that mean the most to us. What if we kept in mind that 'it's all a game' - would we behave differently? Philosopher James P. Carse writes in the first chapter of Finite and Infinite Games, "There are at least two kinds of games. One could be called finite, the other infinite. A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, and infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play." The book's subtitle is "A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility." His premise is that a game is about the relationship between the player. In the book he characterizes two types of players. Finite players play within the rules, infinite players play with the rules. Finite players play to end the game (with their victory), infinite players play to continue the game (by whatever means they see fit). Finite players play to win, infinite players play to keep playing. The players who "get it" are playing with the rules looking to transform a finite game into an infinite one. If this article has intrigued you we encourage you to look at the various "games" that you are "playing" and with whom. Who are your "teammates" and what kind of game are you playing? With increased awareness of our behavior, and the behavior of others, we are able to create a "win as much as WE can" mentality. © Copyright 2004 Alicia Smith Consulting & Training. All Rights Reserved. This article was written by Alicia Smith as told to John Satta Alicia Smith is a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping business people to Make Money Now. She has taught over 10,000 people how to improve their business bottom lines. To learn more about her courses, products and services, please visit http://www.AliciaSmith.com
MORE RESOURCES: Negotation Skills - Google News
Five mistakes to avoid while taking a home loan - Economic Times
David Rabbitt - Petaluma Argus Courier
Negotiate When You're Not Eye to Eye- Is It Even Possible? - BNET (blog)
Game changers - Hindustan Times
IIRC wants SWAT logbook on hostage timeline - ABS CBN News
Money 101: How To Negotiate Anything - The Frisky (blog)
Media Planner/Buyer – $50k – $60k – Melbourne – Sydney CBD - MuMbrella
Road to The Lodge - ABC Online
What CIOs Look for in an Enterprise Architect - Computerworld
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Negotiating Skills Will Get You Ahead Negotiating skills can help you manage lots of different kinds of life situations, both at work and in your personal relationships. Here are a few examples of where these skills can help you build an even better life for yourself:1. 30 Tips for Keeping Meeting Expenses to a Minimum Money makes the world go 'round. And when it comes to meeting planning, money can probably get you whatever you want. Negotiate Your Way to a Better Salary 1. Be persuasive: It's hard to force your boss to increase your compensation, and trying to do so can potentially damage your working relationship. National and Cultural Negotiation Style Cultural and national negotiation styles reflect communication behaviors and the priorities of that culture. Priorities such as trust, teamwork, non-confrontational situations, and openness are all along a sliding scale with each culture. Can a Service Be a Commodity Well Enron dealt with this a little for instance an intangible such as the available bandwidth in fiber optic lines. So what is a commodity in a service business? Well, a commodity could be considered are capacity to wash cars for a mobile car wash business like the company I own, the additionally created capacity coming from increased efficiency in studying production rates. Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated?When I prepare to negotiate, provide a service or turn my employees' talent into performance, I know deep down that if I make people feel valuable they will see my input as having value. Where to FIND the BEST Employees -- Obviously, you might logically say, "that is good!" You would most certainly be on track feeling good about everyone in your area having a job. Getting everyone working and being more self-sufficient is our logical goal. Guidelines for Ambassador Appointments Ambassadors to other countries are a vital part of international relations. It is not uncommon for an ambassador to be the face or image of one country to another. What Are The Four Types Of Negotiating Outcomes? Negotiating outcomes are the types of results that can happen at the end of a negotiation. All negotiations end up with one out of four possible outcomes: one party wins and the other loses, both parties lose, they get stuck in a stalemate, or both end up winning. How to Change Somebody's Mind Believe me, it's not easy! And sometimes, it doesn't work at all.But while researching my book on how to produce more memorable writing, I stumbled upon these "mind changing" ideas from multiple sources. Managing the Sales Negotiation Process How many times have you heard:"You've got to drop your price by 10% or we will have no choice but to go with your competition.""You will have to make an exception to your policy if you want our business. Embarrassed To Discuss Your Prices? Seven Common Reasons We Cant Talk About Them Last week, a wonderfully-skilled electrician installed a new light fixture for us. He was competent, courteous and efficient. Do You Want a Paycheck or a Passion? 10 Qualities Managers are Looking for in Hiring You Based upon my research of over 300 managers in the last two years, I have found what qualities are most important to hiring managers.You will be in a more competitive advantage if you do a self-assessment to determine if you possess these qualities. Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal) A while back, a potential client provided me with some general details of the writing work he wanted me to do for his company. Then he asked me to send him a proposal. Power Pricing - Getting the Right Price for Your Products and Services There's an old joke about the New York City blackout. Power was out everywhere, and the electric company couldn't figure out what was wrong or how to fix it. Determine Your Rate And Negotiate Carefully With Unreasonable Clients Consultants who offer executive assistant or computer services on a virtual basis must know their value and be prepared to gauge their billable rate to meet the circumstances.At some point everyone encounters potential clients who expect professional work at rates that are less than appropriate. Dont Be Afraid Of Silence In any conversation with two or more people, there is a tendency to want to talk all the time to fill any awkward silences or gaps that appear in a conversation.However, if you think of the conversations that you have with your closest friends or family, you will notice that there isn't the same need to fill these gaps, as silences between you are comfortable. Games are a Reflection of Behavior You are standing on a small stage yelling, "What's the name of the game?!""Win as much as you can!!!" comes roaring back."Who's responsible for your score?!""I am!!"The audience is composed of ninety men, all prisoners in a federal maximum security prison. Communicating Across Time Horizons There was a time in my life when I sold life insurance. Well, to be frank, I tried to sell life insurance. Negotiate to Your Advantage The hardest and most important part of any negotiation is knowing when to walk away.Few things are sweeter than a successful negotiation session where both parties leave the table with a winning solution.
|
|
NewsScape Domain Is For Sale - $3,500 For Enquiries eMail Us © www.NewsScape.biz 2010
|
|
